I would really have liked to be more involved over the years. I spent a lot of time halfway across the country at Seminary and now live six hours away. I can’t be there for shows and games. I can’t use the library or grab a coffee and sit. I’d love to be a presence on campus and in the lives of students and I have some measure of envy for those who have that opportunity.
I long to be there, because it was the atmosphere, the people, the community that was so valuable to me – and I’d like to be able to give back. My wife and I have given money, I think every year, for quite a while now. Not a lot, for sure, but we’ve tried to be faithful in our support. It’s been 18 years since I spent more than a day or two on campus – outside of those big, old, falling apart buildings, almost nothing is the same – but I do believe the community remains.
As in my time (although I was largely blind to it then), there are people who don’t feel welcome or supported in that community. That’s truly, really sad.
Recently, it seems, the same tensions over LGBTQ+ issues that are roiling conservative Christians across the US have reared their heads again at ENC. I won’t share the details, because I really only know them third hand, but whatever they are, they’re representative of dozens and hundreds and thousands of other details over the years, dating back to well before my time.
The fact is, there are lots of faithful queer Christians out there, people who take the Bible and the Kingdom of God as seriously as anyone else. There are lots of congregations and denominations and traditions that are supportive and nurturing of these Christians and many of those are represented by students at ENC.
When most attendees were Nazarene, it was easy enough to toe the party line. Even if it wasn’t the healthiest or the best for students, there was some logic to it – let the Nazarenes figure out their own junk – but that’s not reality any longer. Most students come from non-Nazarene traditions and an increasing number have no problem with the idea that gay people could also be Christians; really, an increasing number have a hard time fathoming why anyone would think differently.
Even within the denomination, those views are changing. I’m an ordained elder in the Church of the Nazarene and I would sure like us to stop using the gender of our spouses as some litmus test for faith. That’s not a majority opinion just yet, but I know I speak for a lot of ministers who don’t feel safe expressing a real opinion on the matter, and for an increasing number who feel a moral compulsion to speak out for change.
Fear, though, is the other side of the issue. The school relies on funding from congregations, many of whom already feel the school is “too liberal” and not accommodating to what they want for their kids. The sad truth is: if ENC changed its stance towards gay faculty or students tomorrow, the school would close by Fall (if, in fact, there were a viable mechanism for change, which doesn’t really exist).
There is a growing gap between what students want out of a college and what parents and donors want the school to be. That’s not just true at ENC, but at Christian colleges all over the country. As generous and as hopeful as those of us who’d like to see change might be able to be, it’s VERY unlikely it would be enough to sustain the school outside of more conservative support.
This is where I feel the most conflicted: On the one hand, if ENC is not willing to step up and lead in difficult conversations about the theological and ethical formation of young people, then maybe it shouldn’t exist. Advocating for the health and well-being of students in its care is certainly a worthy hill on which ENC could die.
On the other hand, there’s still a lot of great stuff being done in and through ENC. The top evidence of this is that these movements towards change aren’t coming from outside the community; the very people ENC produces are those speaking and standing up. The spirit of support and encouragement I so valued as a student must be alive and well, because ENC’s students and alumni continue to reflect it!
There’s always been a tricky balance between fear-based prohibitions and the risk of allowing students to fail in the pursuit of truth. It’s especially true of sexual ethics in evangelical environments. Fear usually wins out over hope. Regardless of your beliefs on any controversial topic, we should all agree that fear reactions are not compatible with Christian life.
If the Spirit of truth guides us into all truth, we shouldn’t be afraid of asking questions. I learned that growing up in the Church of the Nazarene and it was reinforced at ENC. As a parent, I know we’re desperate to spare our children harm and pain in that journey towards truth, but as a former child, I’m not sure the harm of that protection was any better than the potential harm that protection avoided.
It’s a risk either way.
LGBTQ+ Christians probably don’t feel welcome in the Church of the Nazarene or at ENC and I don’t blame them for leaving or writing us off, but, for me, as a 5th generation Nazarene, as a straight white male who isn’t actually being harmed by the slow pace of change, sticking around and continuing to push in the right direction seems the only ethical thing to do. I love both those messed up institutions; they are a part of me, and I cannot and will not abandon them. I want to work to help make them places of welcome for more and more people (and more kids of people) than they’ve been before.
There are limitations and complexities and financial considerations. There are legal and political and theological issues that just aren’t going to be resolved overnight. I’m encouraged by the students and alumni willing to speak up and whatever happens, I’m here in support as we move forward together.
Because of my faith in Jesus Christ, I believe profoundly that wherever we’re going, we’re going there together, or we’re not going at all. Loving your enemies is kind of what this whole Jesus thing is about. You can’t browbeat your opponents into submission. Shame and guilt and anger might work in the short term, but they’re poison down the road.
We may have learned this the hard way in the Church of the Nazarene, but I do think we’ve learned it. Other denominations are tearing each other apart with anger and recalcitrance and lack of trust. As much as we disagree, as much as “the other side” might seem backwards and sinful, we have, so far, managed to maintain a belief that we’re all pursuing God in the best way we know how.
ENC needs a little more of that belief at this moment – maybe a lot more – to recognize all the gifts possessed by all members of the community. I may not be as connected or influential as I’d like to be right now and I may have leaked ignorance and privilege all over these pages, but I can’t remain silent. We’ve got to do better and we’ve got to do it together, without fear, in the Spirit that leads to truth.
Lets include ALL members of the community and encourage them as they work out their faith in an environment like Eastern Nazarene College!
