Someone had been tasked with bringing one of our General Superintendents (Six GSs are elected to provide spiritual and ecclesial leadership for the denomination) to the airport. It was an early morning flight. One the way, this driver asked about the rationale for our stance on addictive substances. Ultimately, the reasoning seemed to boil down to avoiding things to which we might be addicted both because not having full control of your actions is potentially dangerous, but also because doing things that may harm your body is, well, harmful. This intrepid driver asked the GS, "So, if this is the reason we avoid potentially addictive substances, why do we drink caffeine?" To which this gracious and amicable leader raised his coffee cup and smiled, saying "Because those of us with power are already addicted."
This humorously and tellingly helps understand the choice we all make in what we consume. Last week, when I put the call out for blog post ideas, one came back asking what my thoughts were on addictive substances with low health risks (specifically coffee). The request came from someone who tired, unsuccessfully, to quit coffee - and, I assume, was hoping for either a guilt-trip motivational lecture or perhaps some guilt relief.
Practically, caffeine fanatics will get little help from me (and I make a point to say caffeine, not coffee, since Red Bull and Mountain Dew seem like far more dangerous caffeine mules than coffee). I ran cross-country in high school. I was mediocre - literally - finishing almost dead center of both the pack and my team in almost every race. I did go to high school in Colorado, where cross country is taken pretty seriously, so I always delude myself into thinking I was slightly above average nationally.
Our coaches really challenged us to give up soda, because it's pretty bad for performance. Me, being a cheapskate and not a huge soda drinker to begin with, decided I'd stop drinking anything but water. Sure, I do occasionally indulge in fruit juice - and I might have a Sprite on the rocks at New Year's Eve - but I've mostly maintained that position, even as nothing I do anymore could even remotely be called "running."
I also like coffee. I don't drink it every day or even every week (see above: cheapness), but say, while enjoying a crisp, sunny morning sitting at an outdoor cafe overlooking Kailua Bay on Hawaii's Big Island, a 16oz double mocha cappuccino made from the darkest, most smooth fresh local Kona coffee might just be the most glorious thing imaginable.
If I haven't enabled at least a dozen addicts by now, I'm not really doing my job.
In all seriousness, addictions are no joke. Some of them can be really debilitating and I do believe all addictions are dangerous. The very definition of addiction is a desire one can't fully control. People are addicted to what are generally assumed to be important and necessary activities: eating, shopping, sex, exercise - I can't imagine my life functioning properly without all of those things.
Yes, some addictions, like meth or heroine, have literally no positive qualities, but I don't think anyone is looking for some excuse to justify them. It's the other ones - a drink here or there isn't going to hurt anything, caffeine helps me get up in the morning, etc - that drive people nuts. Some people. A lot of people engage in these activities without any real moral difficulty whatsoever. Are some of them addicts in denial? Sure. But not all.
I think the bottom line is, if what you're doing hurts yourself or others, you should probably stop - get professional help, if necessary, non-professional help for sure. If someone you care about believes what you're doing hurts someone, stop, please. If you, and the people around you, don't honestly believe your habits really control you, why would you even ask a question like this?
I tend to be someone very fixated on things. I have a hard time putting down a good book or not binge-watching whatever show appeals to me next. I get caught in repetitive practices all the time just because I like the comfort of it. Some might be addictions, some might not - none of them are healthy.
I'm a person who struggles with discipline. When one part of my life becomes undisciplined (buying a candy bar every time I check out at Walmart), chances are the rest of my life will spiral into an undisciplined, depressing mess.
I have to constantly be checking myself, setting goals, exercising my miniscule willpower - not because any of those habits are terrible on their own, but because they collectively make my life miserable.
So, I don't think that sort of question is one anyone should have to ask, especially of me, unless we're really good friends. I don't know you. The people who do are much better sounding boards for that sort of thing.
If you want my opinion in general: drink more water, get plenty of sleep. Those are both very healthy things to do.
Last week, when the rest of the country was distracted by Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson, there was a brief story about Philadelphia Eagles running back, LeSean McCoy. Apparently, he was at a restaurant and lets a twenty cent tip on about $60 of food. The owner of the place posted a picture of the receipt within seconds of McCoy leaving and it was on Deadspin in an hour.
A lot of Philly folks got on twitter to defend him, remarking that the restaurant is known for terrible service and there's little surprise McCoy had a bad enough experience to react as he reacted.
McCoy did eventually make a statement - that he indeed had bad service and felt personally disrespected by the wait staff and thus left a twenty cent tip to send a message.
In the middle of all this, Charlie Sheen, of all people, ran across the story and stated he'd send the stiffed waiter $1,000 to make up for McCoy's rudeness. I'm not sure if he did or not, but Charlie's spent far more money on far more frivolous whims - no reason to doubt him.
It struck me as beautiful, the juxtaposition. Here we have McCoy - a professional football player who had to work hard for everything he's got. He went to the University of Pittsburgh (not always a hotbed of NFL talent) and languished, underappreciated, for a while, on the Eagles, playing a position where even the best players are tossed aside at the slightest hint of slowing down. Of course he expects people to earn what they get; of course he's going to send a message with harsh reality.
On the other hand, you've got Charlie Sheen. Yes, a ludicrously undisciplined addict who seems to be miraculously immune to the consequences of his destructive actions - but also a guy who's been at the bottom of a lot of holes. He's practically killed his father with his wasted talent, near-death, experiences and a refusal to learn from them. The guy has burned through wives and girlfriends and hit televisions shows left and right. He deserves almost nothing he has and he keeps getting second chances.
Charlie Sheen is a dude who understands grace - even if he doesn't quite understand it enough. He's leaving a big tip for a bad waiter. Maybe the waiter is just lazy and cruel - maybe he's terrible at his job for no good reason. But just maybe the guy's had a rough day, a rough week, a rough life and he's just trying to do his best. We don't know. LeSean McCoy didn't know. Charlie Sheen doesn't know.
What Charlie Sheen does know, though, is how wonderful it is to be the recipient of grace, to be given something good when you don't deserve it, to have your faults and failures overlooked. Charlie knows what it's like to be kicked when you're down. He knows what it's like to be ostracized and persecuted for your problems. Because of that, the guy exudes grace. He's recklessly, ridiculously generous.
I finished up John Meacham's biography of Andrew Jackson this morning. Towards the end of the book is related a story about the final Christmas he spent in the White House - with the children of his son and nephew running about, enjoying the lavish gifts he provided for them. His nephew's wife, Emily, commented that he'd been spoiling the children - quoting scripture, "Spare the rod and spoil the child," to which President Jackson responded, "I think, Emily, with all due deference to the Good Book, that love and patience are better disciplinarians than rods."
Now if Andrew Jackson - by all accounts one of the least patient people on earth, a man who literally bore the bullets (plural) of failed duelists in his body for most of his adult life - if Andrew Jackson could figure this much out, AND could do so in agreement with one Mr. Charlie Sheen...
...well perhaps its worth considering a good tip for your next waiter, stellar service or not.
I do, however, consume information. I read everything I can get my hands on. I've tried (and succeeded to some degree) in the last year or so to skip things that don't interest me. An obvious choice, I know, but a big challenge for me. I have a few blogs I read, a few preachers whose sermons I enjoy and a couple podcasts in which I regularly partake. I've got them all nicely organized and delivered to my Feedly page for efficient consumption.
I spend a lot of time reading and listening to crap. Interesting, often stimulating, occasionally important crap, but crap nonetheless.
I get Entertainment Weekly, which is a constant reminder of all the tv shows and movies I'm not watching, despite their obvious value and critical acclaim. I keep talking about getting netflix in the summer when our family has more free time - because that's exactly how we should be spending our summer: huddled on the couch watching TV!
I've only recently realized something that's probably been readily apparent to my wife for years: I'm never gonna catch up. There will always be more movies, more shows, more podcasts, more interesting, informative things to fill my mind and drive my imagination. That realization, in itself, is incredibly freeing.
I recognize it could lead to debilitating depression. There is so much out there I might know and never will. In a sense that's sad. In another sense it's wonderful. There will never be enough. The amount of things I won't experience is infinite - so if I add to it, it won't actually grow any (ask a mathematician if you didn't follow that).
I can chose, if I dare, if I have the willpower, to focus my attention on things vitally important to the rest of my life, not things that are self-important or portend some kind of intellectual completeness.
I'll be trying, over the next few weeks, to free myself from some measure of connection to my drug of choice. My Feedly link is tucked away nicely in an obscure bookmarks folder. Buried, for the time being. In a few weeks (months, maybe) I'll revisit it. There will be too much content to consume it all. I'll have to chose. I may chose to just ignore all of it.
Yes, I will be missing out on things I may never encounter. Interviews that will never happen again, words that will never be expressed in exactly the same way. But, in the end, when I really sit and think about it. There's nothing on those pages that will make any difference in my life - outside of my bizarre satisfaction in getting them done.
I shall not participate in the gospel of more. There is always more to know, more to be done, more to have. I will never have it all. As fun as trying is sometimes, it is detrimental to life - real life. Hopefully I can stop and smell the proverbial roses a bit this Spring...
...but not every rose, because that's obsessive and as satisfying as it is, it's also incredible stressful and will ultimately lead to me to shrivel up and die.
Happy Thursday!
I have found that, believe it or not, there are more worthwhile tasks each day that I really have time to do. Additionally, the most important things often are not those things which make noise when they're ignored.
For me, writing is one of those things. I love writing. I've often been encouraged to write more. I really only like reading because I enjoy writing so much and I want to see how other people do it. That being said, there are few things in life more difficult to do than to write on a regular basis.
This boggles the mind.
From time to time I think that I would like to make money writing - not career money, but something tangible that proves those hours putting pen to paper are not a waste (also something tangible enough to buy pizza I don't have to pull out of the freezer). Recently someone told me that the publishing industry puts high priority on blog hits, twitter followers, and Facebook subscribers when deciding who to publish. They like making money and figure people with a built in audience will further that end. This explains why Ken Jennings tweets so often and with such punnish enthusiasm (also why he seems to get articles published in every conceivable location.
This got me thinking... not so much about making money or getting published, but about audience as a means of discipline and motivation. If I am taking the care to write and write well, if I am working to improve my craft and say something worthwhile, then people might actually want to read it - which could in tern give me reason to write some more.
So I've taken the bold step of changing my blog template to allow for people to link from here to various social networking sites. I'm enamored with this concept; it's an introvert's dream. I can tell the whole world about all the articles, books, movies, songs, blogs, and videos I love without actually talking to anyone (and not worrying about boring people, because they can just ignore them).
So here's the deal. If you read this blog or various other outlets for my writing and wish to read more (as indicated by comments and shares, likes, etc), I will work to actually write more. We'll make this a community endeavor. I think it may just work out well for the both of us.
