Thursday, August 07, 2014

Happy Anniversary

So, ten years ago today we were married, before God and some head-shaking witnesses. Yes, we were too young and probably rushing into things. If we had known then what we know, I suspect we'd both choose to do things differently.

But of course we didn't know then what we know now and we're certainly not the same people we were back then (those people seem unbearably thinner).

When I reflect back on who I was and who I am there is the unmistakable marks of your life all over mine. I think I was happier then - mostly because I was meeting the vast majority of my selfish desires just fine. My life was small and simple. It was much easier.

When I look at myself in the mirror today, I find a lot more to respect. I am more patient, although not patient enough. I am more compassionate and caring. I am more responsible and work harder. I am likely just as neurotic and frustrating, but hopefully about fewer things.

I am a more mature, well-rounded person and that is, largely, because of you.

We've talked about this a bit. I think we've both come to see marriage as a cooperative endeavor on its own terms, rather than just a relationship between two people. It's something bigger than ourselves - even bigger than the beautiful family we've become. I know they call it co-dependent when you've grown too thoroughly connected to someone else for emotional stability, identity, and well-being. Maybe it's unhealthy. I don't know.

What I do know, is that despite the difficulties we have understanding each other, and all the times we've tried and failed to communicate properly, through all the frustrated nights when we've tried to envision a better life elsewhere, at this point, today, ten years in with another fifty to go (now that your heart's fixed I think we can make it), there's not a single other person on this planet I'd rather be facing the future with.

I love you. Happy Anniversary!

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