Life, Choices, Conversation, and Religion

I'm not sure religion exists. I mean, I know there are religions out there - organized faiths of one kind or another, but they're not really faiths at all. I don't think they're religions either - at least in the way we often think of religion. Religions are just sets of practices based on some core beliefs. When we think of religion, we usually think of people who have the same beliefs and share common actions. But when you look at religion, the actual common practices are few and far between. Most people actually live their lives the way they see fit. Sure, our lives are often influenced by our religion, but there's nothing particularly religious about it.

This is essentially ethics. Everyone has ethics and, I suppose, we could say everyone has a religion. It might not be formalized or commonly recognized or particularly geared toward spirituality, but we all have a religion.

If everyone has a religion, we could say no one has a religion.

We just live. We make choices. We act - and our actions reveal our beliefs (whether we know it or not). Even when we share our beliefs with others (sometimes many others), even when we share a few joint practices, even then we're making individual decisions.

When people talk about joining a religion, more and more I don't know what they mean. Sure, there are basic principles and faith statements we make and agree with, but (probably sadly) these don't often predict the way in which we'll live them out - if we live them out at all.

I imagine this sounds strange, coming from a Christian - and a pastor at that. To me, it seems quite natural. I suspect most people's impression of Christianity has more to do with the religion (ethics) that people have built around the idea of Jesus Christ than his actual life and teachings. Jesus has become more of a guilt trip or a scare tactic to most people, rather than someone with a unique perspective on how to live.

I'm interested in the way people live life. I'm curious about the choices people make, the beliefs they have and why we choose what we do. I think its important to act intentionally and to understand exactly what our actions say about our beliefs. If you and I believe differently or act differently, it's either out of ignorance - because I've never come across your particular way of life - or because we answer certain questions in different ways, and thus make different choices.

I'd love to get together with people and discuss life - things we encounter in our own lives and things about the world that make us think. I'm curious as to why people respond the way they do, why people think differently. That's the kind of religious discussion I like. I want to do more of that.

For me, it's not so much about finding the right answers, but examining why we do the things we do and maybe finding a better way to do life than we had before. It's not about converting or convincing; I don't want to make you believe what I believe or act the way I act. I do want to understand where and why we differ.

I know. I've been told. I often come off too obnoxious and aggressive when I have these conversations. I keep asking questions and people feel badgered. I'm sorry. I'm genuinely excited and, most of the time, I'd genuinely like to be convinced to change my mind. I spend a lot of time thinking. I ask myself a lot of questions and I'm usually desperate for other ways of looking at an issue, something I hadn't thought of before.

Anyway, whether it's because I'm a parent now and life is busy with other things, it seems like I have less of these conversations than I used to. That, in turn, means I've developed fewer deep friendships than I have in the past.

So I guess I'm asking. Anyone want to get together on a somewhat regular basis, share a meal, and talk about things beyond the typically superficial?

Feels Like Home

We live in a bad neighborhood, or so we've been told. In all honesty, it's not even close to being the poorest part of town or the most run down. There's a pretty heavy police presence, but with 800 households here, it's a pretty significant percentage of the population.

We can say it's not the most desirable neighborhood. There's a diversity of ethnic background and economic status, but everyone I've talked to so far is pretty shocked when I say we wanted to live here - we chose Middletown Village.

This place has a lot to offer and it seems like most people don't know it or don't believe it. If I can be part of changing our own perceptions of ourselves, I'll consider my time here successful. Every community has value and ever neighbor has a part to play in our lives together.

I am a part of a denomination called the Church of the Nazarene. The name "Nazarene" was picked, not just because Jesus was a Nazarene, but because Jesus was a Nazarene. He was from Nazareth, a backwards, forgotten part of Israel. Nathaniel is famous for saying, "Can anything good come from there." Jesus knew better. There is good everywhere.

The Church of the Nazarene was founded to be associated with those who don't have the best reputation, those who find themselves in places where people find themselves living, but few "choose" to call home. Phineas Bresee, the guy who started it all, liked to say the mission of the Church of the Nazarene was "to go into the poorer parts of the cities and into neglected places and by the power of the Holy Ghost create centers of fire."

We're not exactly poor in Middletown Village, although there are poor among us, but we are forgotten or at least ignored. Yet I suspect there is power here. If we can get together, spend time together, discover each other as friends and neighbors and not just people who share a couple of streets, that something pretty amazing can happen.

Delaware is the tenth state I've lived in and I'll be happy if it's the last. I love living in Middletown Village - it just feels like home.

What Are You Doing With Your Life?

For the past year, we've gotten this question a lot. I left a paying job as a pastor, and our family moved to Middletown, DE, where my wife had been teaching 7th grade English. We're here as "church planters," but there are no short or long term plans to open a church or hold services. There were some especially blank stares following questions at our recent District Assembly (read: big, fancy meeting full of pastors).

As I've tried to explain our life to people, it seems like there are two reactions - utter confusion and wistful longing. These tend (but do not absolutely) break down by age. A lot of it depends on the degree to which one is satisfied with the way things are. The young tend to have a higher proclivity for dissatisfaction, I guess.

Regardless, I'm not sure how well I've done to explain myself, so I've attempted to put in writing at least the barebones of our mission, calling, whatever. So here it is: let me know what you think:

A pastor friend told me of a difficult situation recently. A family in the congregation had moved to a new home in a neighboring town, about twenty minutes away. After some soul searching and prayer, they decided to leave the congregation for one closer to their new home. They were becoming more involved in their new community and felt it important to worship and minister close to home. The family was doing everything right, but something felt wrong to the pastor.

Ideally our faith would be so entwined with the people and the place in which we live that moving, as this family did, would never even cross our minds. The way we do church today has compartmentalized faith into individual or family components, disconnecting it from the larger community, the Church – and much to our detriment.

God calls us to a new allegiance, new priorities, a new way of life; God calls us to a new family. God is the head of this family and those of us who claim Christ are brothers and sisters. Jesus was not joking when he said, “those who do the will of my father are my mother and brothers.”

This is a radical kind of call, one that not only goes against our cultural conditioning, but the common practices of our congregations as well. Nevertheless, this calling to put Christ and his mission first and foremost – above occupation, relatives, comfort, and security – is one we take seriously. God has called us to love one another, not just when it’s convenient and not just with those most easy to love.

Generally, our congregations do life together for worship on Sundays, perhaps once or twice during the week, and through various organized activities. We feel called to do life together in between those times – to live as family. This may mean sharing living space, it may not – but it does mean sharing a neighborhood and a commitment to love and serve the people around us. It means playing games together, eating meals together, doing laundry together, settling arguments together; it means serving together. Worship is not our singing or our praying; it is our living.

Middletown Village is a neighborhood of 800 homes in the southern part of New Castle County, Delaware. It’s a growing area with a diverse range of people and living situations – apartments, townhomes, duplexes and detached dwellings. We envision a family planted in Middletown Village, serving God and working primarily for the good of the neighborhood. We envision a family, not in the sense of blood relation, but united in the name of Jesus Christ and committed to living into his now and coming kingdom of love and peace.

This sounds like a big commitment with a lot of questions about the future. It is. We’re not asking people to sign their lives away sight unseen. We’d just like to foster conversations that will lead to better missional, family living wherever God’s people happen to reside – in your own hometown or here in Delaware, in Middletown Village.

“God’s ultimate desire is to create from all nations a reconciled people living within a renewed creation and enjoying the presence of the Triune God. This biblical vision of ‘community’ is the goal of history.” --Stanley Grenz

*For those more detail oriented persons among us – Joseph Hellerman’s book, When the Church was a Family, provides a thorough theological, historical, and scriptural framework for this perspective on the Church.

We'd love to have a place, a community of hospitality where we can walk with people through transitions in life. To do that, though, we need people committed to providing the foundation of such a community. So we're moving forward on sort of two fronts - being present in our community and our neighborhood, meeting people, building friendships and just trying to contribute positively; we're also praying and looking (probably not as actively) for someone else to catch this vision for this place and commit to partnering with us.

There you have it.  More or less what we're doing with our life.


PS - there's a townhouse for sale just around the corner from us if anyone is interested.

Old School Banking

I received an email from our "online" bank. We have a savings account (and a checking account for that matter) with banks that don't have local branches - we do banking there mostly online. In the last two places we've lived, we've opened accounts at local banks (or credit unions, as the case may be) to have access to cash and a way to deposit checks. This email I received detailed the new (free) process for depositing checks electronically - just take a picture and upload it!

At first I was very excited - this would save time and simplify life a bit. Then I began to realize what I'd lose. My daughter and I walk to the credit union when we need to deposit checks - it's a little more than a mile round trip. All six employees there know her by name and they never ask to see my ID. One moonlights at a local retailer and we get to see her there as well; she's part of the neighborhood. Another teller noticed my name in the paper one day and asked about it (when I didn't even think she knew my name to begin with). A third gave me advice on where to get a decent haircut.

One of the big reasons we moved to Middletown was to be in a community - to live and work and bank, I guess, in and around the same people. There's a community here for sure and we discover more of it each and every day.

I deleted that exciting email from the bank. It would cost too much to use that free service. I'm also seriously thinking about what it will take to move our checking account and all of the direct deposits and payments that entail to the credit union.

Maybe we need to be spending more time there after all.