Tuesday, March 26, 2019

The Year was 1999

I graduated from high school in 1999. I graduated from high school on the same day Phantom Menace came out. We had an evening graduation, went to a couple parties, then drove from Colorado Springs to Pueblo well after midnight to see what I recall as a 2am showing of what turned out to be among the most disappointing movie of my lifetime.

It's been 20 years. There's a book coming out in a few weeks, arguing that 1999 was the best movie year ever. The Ringer has been doing a 1999 movies gimmick this week and it's brought back a lot of memories. 1999 was largely pre-internet. I mean, we had had the internet for a while, but there wasn't much you could do with it other than chat rooms and maybe AOL Instant Messenger. There was certainly no crossover between movies at the internet at this time.

It was also the dawn of the stadium seating multiplex. I'm not sure how long we'd had one in Colorado Springs, but I know most people were still going to the tiny theaters in the malls or the six-screeners on the outskirts of residential neighborhoods. We had to drive by the Tinseltown on the south end of Colorado Springs (where we couldn't get into any late night showings of Phantom Menace, because people had camped out for a week - no joke - and we had finals to take) through the literal nothing that then existed before reaching the multiplex that had just been built on the north end of Pueblo (where, as I said, we had to get second showing tickets).

So much has changed since then, obviously, but it was a great year in movies that coincided with a pivotal year in my life, so I've taken this opportunity to post a ranking of every 1999 movie I've seen with some sporadic comments about how they strike my memory.* This is not a ranking of their cinematic quality, and it's a present day ranking, not one from 1999 (otherwise American Pie would've been much higher).

*Note, I definitely did not see all of these movies in 1999.


1. Varsity Blues. I know, I know. Irresponsible drinking, objectification of women, ridiculous plot points (or lack thereof), and some seriously questionable casting choices. Still, it's a football movie about the book-ish loser who saves the day - you have to admit, that's right up my alley. Also, that soundtrack. When I think of this movie, I imagine only a football flying through the night sky with Dave Grohl belting "There goes my hero." Pure bliss.

2. The Matrix. This was my single greatest movie-going memory. I hadn't even heard of it. There was very little press. One of my friends was super excited and made us going after school opening day. Yes, it opened on a Wednesday in March. There were six people in the theater. We sat spellbound through the whole thing, speechless as the credits and the Rage-heavy soundtrack continued. We sat there without saying anything as the next showing began. We sat through the whole movie a second time (if that sounds impossible to you 'why didn't the theater workers kick you out?' ask anyone familiar with the Chapel Hills Mall theater during the late 90s). As we finally left, I don't remember any conversation other than, "that was the greatest thing I have ever seen. Obviously, the effects are no longer ground-breaking and the philosophical mythology was ruined by the sequels, but it will always have a special place in my heart. Even in retrospect, a movie about a man waking up to the reality that he's in a simulated world, written and directed by two transgender siblings who'd yet to transition has some cultural resonance and importance well beyond the kung-fu and FX. Even if you don't particularly like the movie, you have to recognize what it is and what it means.

3. Man on the Moon. I love Andy Kauffman and I think this film did such a great job of encapsulating a complicated life without drifting into hero-worship of iconoclasm. Milos Forman is an incredible director and he got a career life-changing performance out of Jim Carrey, who WASN'T EVEN NOMINATED for best actor (an award that went to Kevin Spacey - bet you wish you could have that one back, don't you, Academy!?!). Seriously, Carrey got so far into character, they made a documentary (recently) about how insane both he and the situation turned out to be. I'm not privy to what's going on in Jim Carrey's life, but you can see a stark difference from before and after. Just such a great movie.

4. Go. Another nostalgia pick, but a really fun movie that seems to be getting it's due now. Go has aged really well and it's just fun. Yes, lots of drugs and sex (see a 90s theme here), but there's a ton of great actors in it and no one is taking it too seriously. It's a fun movie that's supposed to be fun. Escapism at it's best, and really entertaining.

5. Fight Club. This is just objectively a really well-made movie. We watched it all the time in college. It speaks to a lot of complicated issues about humanity and how we deal with injustice in the world. At the same time, my personal journey away from violence makes the idea of Fight Club less appealing (although, one could argue, that's sort of the point). Dark movies, in general, are harder for me to get attached to, and I'm sure some of this went over my head at the time. Still, it's really important and deserves to be part of the Top 5.

6. Any Given Sunday. Oliver Stone's visual style has always appealed to me, and this raw, sort of fever-dream of a football movie just looks cool. They had real football players to make the violence real and shot it from new angles. The hyper-stylized excesses of football seemed outrageous at the time, but feel prescient now. The movie as a whole is not good enough to be up this far, but the meta-quality of Lawrence Taylor's character and that final locker room speech from Pacino drive it to the top. (Also, don't sleep on Jamie Foxx's breakout performance that he later turned into his own life.)

7. Big Daddy. Adam Sandler's best movie by far (although I think his performance in Spanglish is certainly better). A grown-up kid raising a kid that doesn't go over the top or goofy the way his other films do. He uses all his typical cast of actor/friends really well, plus gets great contributions from Jon Stewart (yes, that Jon Stewart) and the always lovely Joey Lauren Adams. There's no logical reason it should be this high on the list, but I love it; I might even still have the VHS in my possession.

8. Office Space. I never fell in love with this movie the way others have in the intervening two decades, but it was totally original in every sense of the word and dry humor, played straight, is something I really cherish. The Ringer had a great oral history about it's making you should check out. You just can't give enough praise to the trends they were able to buck and how they got every decision right.

9. Galaxy Quest. As far as I know, I've only seen this movie once. I don't have a lot of desire to go back to it (although I certainly will at some point). I just remember it being both a creative and loving send-up of Star Trek (which I love) and one of the wittiest movies I can remember. I actively despise Tim Allen, but he's fine in this movie, and the supporting players are outstanding - especially classic Alan Rickman. It's funnier than office space, but it doesn't have the same resonance in culture and movie-making. There's no nostalgia in this pick, just respect for one of the smartest, most-underrated comedies every made.

10. Arlington Road. There's a lot of nostalgia in this one. I probably haven't seen it in 18 years, but I probably saw it 18 times before that. I wore this DVD out, showing it and lending it to people who hadn't seen this movie (which was, and is, nearly everyone). It's a conspiracy thriller with a number of twists. It's not ground-breaking or classic; it's just good. Check it out.

11. 10 Things I Hate About You. There's some nostalgia in this, too, but definitely the best teen movie of the year. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Julia Styles, Heath Ledger. Today's teens should discover this one.

12. Being John Malkovich. Charlie Kauffman absurdity. Thank God Malkovich was actually game to it. Great cast. Great dry wit.

13. Sleepy Hollow. This is not a good movie, nor one you'll ever want to see again, but you should see it once. A visually stunning collaboration between Tim Burton and greatest cinematographer of all time, Emmanuel Lubezki (The Revenant, Birdman, Gravity, Tree of Life, Children of Men, etc), it remains the most beautiful movie I've ever seen.

14. Magnolia.
15. Election.
16. The Sixth Sense.
17. Three Kings.
18. Eyes Wide Shut.

These are five movies I recognize as brilliant masterpieces, technically far too low on the list. I, however, have only seen each once, and almost certainly before I was fully ready to appreciate them.

19. The Cider House Rules. I think this is a pretty good movie with excellent young actors, but the book is incredibly important to my personal formation, and critical reception was/is not what I would've expected. I just don't know if I have any perspective on it at all, so here it sits.

20. Blast from the Past. I'm sure this movie stinks, but it's got Christopher Walken, along with (the always lovable) Alicia Silverstone and peak Brendan Fraser, who plays a man emerging into the 90s after having spent the previous three decades accidentally locked in a fallout shelter with his parents. I love it only because of one joke I'm going to ruin. Fraser gets taken to bar to find a girlfriend and is told he needs to lie about himself to make himself look better in order to pick up women - he walks over to one whilst staring at the ground, only to look up and say, "I wonder if you can help me, I seem to have lost my Congressional Medal of Honor around here somewhere." It brings me such joy!

21. South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. Say what you will (and it's not necessarily my cup of tea), but this is Oscar-nominated genius.

22. American Pie. It is what it is and whatever that is, hopefully we've all grown out of it.

23. Dogma. As an evangelical kid, I think I appreciated the irreverence and religious critique more than I liked the movie, also it benefits from the Damon-Affleck Good Will Hunting glow.

24. Entrapment. Most memorable trailer image of the year, hands down (fast forward to 0:54). The movie turned out to be more that watchable and it was the last, real, charming Sean Connery performance.

25. Deep Blue Sea. I did go back and try to watch this again; it does not live up to the nostaglia, but... that Sam Jackson scene... and LL Cool J. If there's ever been a good bad movie, this is it.

26. The Bone Collector.
27. The 13th Warrior.
28. The Thirteenth Floor.

I can tell you almost nothing about these movies, other than I remember really liking them.

29. For Love of the Game. Worth it, I promise.

30. American Beauty. Kevin Spacey has now allowed us all to admit we really didn't get this movie, but felt like we should've. It's certainly not bad, but it's no "Best Picture."

31. Cruel Intentions. I was as sex-crazed as any other 17 year old boy, but this was even a little too much for me.

32. Wing Commander. I know nothing about this movie. It's here for nostalgia. This is the movie George Lucas "chose" to show the Phantom Menace trailer with. We did stay to watch the movie, but 90% of the people in our theater left before it started. I seem to remember some scene where time was stopped while someone was spilling a glass of milk? Yeah.

33. The Green Mile. Emotionally wrenching. Michael Clark Duncan was great. Not as good as you remember.

34. The Hurricane. Great story. Denzel is fine. Would've rather seen a documentary.

35. Mystery, Alaska. A comedy I remember liking - and seeing more than once. Little Richard's national anthem gambit is spectacular.

36. The Story of Us. A love story I remember liking. Saw this one on a plane.

37. Happy, Texas. A typical Steve Zahn movie.

38. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Verne Troyer and Fat Bastard, but that's about it. The worst of the trilogy, by far.

39. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace.

40. Bicentennial Man. I remember it being mediocre, at best, but there was something compelling about Robin Williams' performance and the overall statement it made about time and relationships.

41. The General’s Daughter. I believe this is a mystery about investigating a rape. I imagine it won't hold up well. I also recall a lot of rain.

42. At First Sight. I'm a sucker for romance... also for Val Kilmer. I also like Mira Sorvino.

43. The Mummy. I don't even remember for sure if I saw this. It was a pretty good year to be Brendan Fraser.

44. Toy Story 2. I'm sure this was good, I just simply have no memory of this movie at all.

45. Stir of Echoes. I remember nothing about this movie, other than a bunch of us watched it at someone's house late at night, it had Kevin Bacon in it, and I didn't hate it.

46. Runaway Bride. I've never liked Richard Gere and I find Julia Roberts (post Pelican Brief) to be a little much.

47. Wild Wild West. I'm fascinated by Steam Punk and I think this is a good watch for decent actors going WAY, WAY, WAY over the top, but even that is not enough to even get nostalgia credit. And although I associate the two in my head, I pray to God that "California Love" is not on this soundtrack.

48. EDtv. I remember Jenna Elfman was in it. I also remember expecting it to be really, really bad and it was every-so-slightly better than that.

49. Muppets from Space. This could be decent, but I remember it not being anywhere near what a muppet movie should be.

50. Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo. I watched this because someone else was watching this.

51. The Blair Witch Project. Obviously, your perception of this movie depends entirely on whether you thought it was real found footage when you saw it. A friend who went opening night was forever scarred. I just got motion sickness from the hand-held camera work and hated the universe for having a hand in it's existence.


There you have it. Please share and comment; this is the kind of discussion I love to have. No, I still have not seen the Iron Giant, sorry.

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